Monday, December 17, 2012

what to do about nothing





Happy Holidays

I say lighten up.






Thanks to some of my e-mail  pals,
I have learned that my prayers
only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven
of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer drink Coca Cola because
it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer buy fuel without taking someone along
to watch the car, so a serial killer doesn't crawl in my
back seat when I'm filling up.
I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.

I no longer go to the cinema because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS when I sit down.

I no longer go to shopping centers because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

And I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a huge phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan .

 I can't use any toilet but my own because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

And thanks for the  great advice I can't ever pick up a dime coin dropped in the car park because it was probably placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over.

I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbors ex mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's best friend's beautician!

Only Kidding, it's just for fun.

















Posted by Yvonne @ La Petite Gallery
Comments are welcome

No comments:

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